Thursday, June 16, 2011

pregnant pauses

She is still here...

I am still here...

We look at each other in exasperation...

I know I have shared this many times, but I have to say it again, I have never experienced a bible study as deep and meaning-rich as being here on the farm.  Today is no different.  I am back at a patience/impatience limbo with God.  I seem to wrestle this issue out quite often.

I do like to come out here and sit on the fence but I don't like watching her pace and pant (it is hot).  Her wait is so long and unnecessary. Why, why must she wait?  It has gone from days to weeks...

The questioning turns personal quickly.  Why am I sitting here waiting?  Why must I wait?  Why can't life be easier?  Why can't the paths be well marked and speedy?  What is it that she/me/we are waiting for again?

Do I need to learn patience?  Seriously?  More patience?

Or am I just missing something you want me to see?
Are you just asking me to slow down?

Deliciously chocolate dirt~
Tiniest little green rhubarb leaves~

Sweet little baby pears~

Stonehouse lawns lit up in the evening sun~

Lately we have also had a visitor, a screech owl (I have been told).  He lives in the tall trees and is the same color as the bark, making him a bit hard to see.  He is a huge presence when I get close, I stand quietly below the tree and talk to him quietly.  "Hello sweet thing, what do you see?"

The owl is also a living testament to this patient pause.  This sweetheart will sit in that same tree for hours barely moving.  Is that the patience you are thinking of God?   Sitting that still?  Taking in everything around me and silently breathing?  
Pregnant pauses in life.  Do you have them too?   

Do you do as I do and rush to get past them -- instead of letting them do their heart-art building work?

 I am learning...learning to listen to the quiet peace of my heart.  

 She always seems to know what adventure is coming next...

Here's to you my lovely friends~ 
May your days be filled with goodness
grace & peace,

If you think about it, say a prayer for my sweet ewe?
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