Friday, June 17, 2011

little beating heart

I have so many loves~

My little beating heart is all a flutter.  If you have followed my blog for any length of time (or just two days) you know that I have a family I adore, a divinely creative life I love, and you will know I am in love (mucho adore) with the lambs.  Any of these spark instant joy in my heart.

I spent this morning out on the fence gate watching the ewes and lambs, taking in the endless lines of freshly cut hay, and breathing in that cool alfalfa air -- being lost in it all.  It is heavenly to me.

I seriously believe heaven must smell just like this...and have loads of little lambs.

It is good to sit out in the sunshine and get grounded, because my creative heart is buzzing~ 

I feel it when I get out of bed in the morning to feed the lambs. 

I feel it when I sort through my latest photo shoot and see that glimmer of light shimmering.

I feel it when I pick up my sketchbook. 

I feel it when I go out on my bike with the boys, riding out in the open fields.

Pregnant pauses in life create such anticipation...don't they?  (my last post)

I didn't realize when I signed up for Christy's classes (Scarlet Lime workshops) earlier this spring that this mixed-medium-messiness would be so transformative.  I know I have shared these classes before - but what I didn't share is that I didn't understand its purpose initially.  I just threw myself into its crazy messiness... and it became a real answer to my heart's prayer for personal growth and healthy expression.  

I am realizing through my fingers that I can see my life & loves played out in color, in form, and in messy paint. 

I see the chapters in my life unfolding and showing me all ways my heart has grown.
My hurts and hopes revealing themselves anew and I am learning to embrace them.

I see color in new ways.
Everything I touch seems to become a part of my creative expression.  Really...lunch sacks and candy wrappers?

I also see that my creative life is quite organically alive with or without me (I am actually working better when I don't think too much?).  I have also noticed that I am seeing things with a heightened frenetic excitement when I am out on a walk with DH.  The light hits a certain front porch and my heart beats faster (trying to decide what time to come capture that image tomorrow), or watching the light sit on little tufts of wool at the lamb's morning feeding, or seeing a stout stone wall and knowing that that its image will soon find its way into my art journal.

I am understanding it better now ~ I need to trust my creative heart to lead out~

God's creative gestures in my life have been so good.  I need to trust His surety in my life.  My little beating heart may not always be right when it comes to head matters (she doesn't look too closely at keeping order, seeing reality, or book keeping), but she is wildly available when it comes to directing my next new adventures~

And I love new adventures...I do...

Can you trust in God's creative leading in your life?  Are you being inwardly pushed to create?  Do you need to try something completely different in your life?  

I am so excited to see what you are about to do~ Come on, take that next step! 

love & lambs,

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