I put them to bed at night, night after night, and I just don't see it? It's like everything in life stays is the same, and then out of the clear blue/while living the everyday-mundane-ness the little boy is now 6 inches taller? Have I just been keeping my eyes closed or does it just happen like this...in fits and spurts?
*
I had a baby boy not that long ago, little boy Ben. The sweet one that was born right on his due date, the easy one- so simple to mother. Always thoughtful, kind, fairly even tempered, and a wildly active imagination, he was always in deep thought about important things. Thankfully he is still all that.That sweet boy is furiously growing up-up-up and turning soon into a big man. It isn't a slow "here he grows" process with Ben. He wasn't growing and now he is growing so fast I am not sure how to deal with it [him].
This pic is so fuzzy. I was grabbing for my camera as Ben was taking off to pose for a personality picture, his Senior picture for High School yearbook. I was informed that every year this company comes into town like the circus and builds this huge staging area just for this event. Wild - it is a circus. Until you have a child reach this age, you have no idea what this circus world is all about?I gave Ben real grief for not knowing what he wanted to wear. Not having set out what he wanted to wear, so I could iron it (Ha, I haven't used an iron in a year), how HUGE his hair was and how he should have gotten a haircut, and frankly, "Why are you not as stressed out as I am?" all over him. Oh, yes, the ugly mom thing.
In the end, it didn't matter. I was all worked up for nothing. I wore myself out with stress, and then sat back and watched how silly Ben was about the whole thing. So non-plussed, he just did his silly walk from camera to camera, and was only put-out once by having to wear the fake tux for a picture (the shirt had no arms?). But he did it for his Momma with an impy grin. Love it.
There were some kids there with Prom dresses (girls thankfully), and boys with all their toys- baseball bats and football uniforms, rodeo saddles and hats, and one boy even came in with his motorcycle. We were told that someone in a neighboring small town even brought in their calf? Really? Props?
Not Ben, he just brought his arm extender...his sweet guitar.
*This is really big stuff. Our Ben will be 18, Pete will be turning 16, and I am going to be 40 all in the same school year! Ben will graduate from High School, Pete will be driving (oh, dear me) and D. and I will be celebrating our 20th Wedding Anniversary?! ((that will be a huge story right there!))
OMHeavens!
*
So... as I clumsily try to get the focus right on my SLR, the photographer clicks away at this silly son. They all loved Ben. Every time he walked past to line up for the next picture, the photographer would look back at me and give me that smile, you know, the smile that says, "Wow, he has some serious hair today and you are a pretty cool Mom to let him be who-he-is-and-wants-to-be." I know. I struggled with "perfectionist-ugly-mom" and she lost, and I am so grateful. She is a beast.I couldn't be more proud on this day to be your mother, Ben. You are so spontaneous and goodhearted, adorable and brilliantly sound (for the parents you have) and I adore you.
This one is so easy to love.
jj
